[via RetroGameVideos]

Watch and witness how Nintendo tried to suck people into what was arguably one of their biggest flops. The soothing, semi-detached and slightly echo-y announcer's voice was even then synonymous with "artificial intelligence." (Thank you HAL 9000) And let's face it, a person telling you something is cool is one thing, but if a computer or robot tells you it's cool, then it must be true. So, if you've ever wondered how to market your own headache machine that will eventually become an industry joke and desktop novelty, now you know.

There's no hiding the fact that McWhertor loves the art style of Advance Wars: Days of Ruin. In fact just the other day I believe I overheard the two discussing plans to elope. Love of a game is a beautiful thing, even when narrated by the gravel-voiced pitchman in a television commercial. Sorry Mike, your secret is out. Better still it's out in a sneak peek of a commercial that hasn't even aired yet.

With all the hoopla that was raised regarding the Wii Zapper and its similarity to using real guns, I thought it would be nice to take a look back at one of the Nintendo gun peripherals that would never be made today. The Super Scope 6 was not only gun like, but you rested the thing on your shoulder with the object of blowing things away whilst looking through the titular scope. I can only imagine the insane dialog that would ensue if this thing came out in 2008. "Won't someone please think of the children!!"

Big thanks to the guys at RetroGamevideos.com!

"Drop Atari Pac-Man into your Atari video computer system and you'll be playing the hottest game since Space Invaders!"

Indeed.

There are just two things that bother me about this clip: the guy's dreadful "Cajun" accent and the odd construction of the beginning of the video. I mean, what the hell are we supposed to think that guy is doing with his hands? Oh... wrestling a gator... I see...

The latest in the Wii Want to Play TV advertising campaign focuses on Super Mario Galaxy. While the commercial isn't terribly exciting, just the thought of playing SMG on a giant movie theater screen just fills my heart with glee. Actually, the thought of playing any good game on a theater screen would be great but the fact that it's Mario makes it all the better.

Here's a terrifically bizarre Japanese commercial for Kid Icarus circa 1986. Something that always strikes me about these 80's commercials, be they US or Japanese, is the absolute manic pace they seem to keep up. Everything is always amped up just a little too high. Of course, the kids (us) watching these things were usually just as amped up having just cracked out on giant bowls full of sugared cereal. It's a wonder we all didn't just explode.

It's the wonder computer of the 1980's! Or at least so says William Shatner in this old commercial for the Commodore Vic-20. Not only does he think it's great, but even takes a jab at good old Atari and Intellivision. After all, Atari and Intellivision don't have a real computer keyboard! And it's under $300 which according to the inflation calculator would be about $800 today. A true bargain.

I will warn you, the sound is really bad, but it doesn't take away from the strangest part of the commercial, the male maid. The cowboy in the foreground is speaking to what i can only assume is is wife, Doreen, and asking her to come back home. Apparently she went out to play Pong and never came home, so our cowboy attempts to tempt her back with the Pong home version. All the while however, a dude in a tight fitting white t-shirt and an apron is seen scurrying around in the background dusting things and mugging for the camera. Then at the end, he's standing behind the cowboy, giving us a full torso shot (with no head mind you) while tapping his feather duster on his arm. Son, lover, houseboy? You be the judge.

As a follow up to last week's Intellivision ad featuring George Plimpton and E.T.'s Henry Thomas I bring you this little clip. Featuring the same two actors, this commercial was obviously from the same ad campaign as the last one with Henry Thomas calling Mr. Plimpton "Mr. Intellivision" and babbling about random games he loves while Mr. Plimpton agrees. At the end we get another take on the joke of Mr. Plimpton not recognizing the arguably more famous at the time Henry Thomas. So, essentially this is the same commercial as last week. The same only different... and blurrier. But certainly worth a watch if you're an old game commercial aficionado. Flynn De Marco

They just don't make video game commercials like this anymore, which is really a shame. Exploding trailers, decapitated teddy bear heads and a special glimpse at the world's most terrifying mullet are just a few of the treats in store for you in this ad pushing Sega Dreamcast's online gaming service Sega Net. Too bad the commercial lasted longer than the service. Flynn De Marco

It seems to be Nintendo video day today so I have one last one for you. This time it's a GameBoy commercial featuring a giant armoured robot thing that shooots blue lasers out of it's fingers. Apparently the blue laser has the power to transport human boys into the misty land of the GameBoy nebula. When used by humans, however, the blue finger laser can be used to destroy your robot enemies.

After seeing this, I went and plugged in my old GameBoy, but unfortunately as hard as I tried, I couldn't manage to get the laser thing to work. Man, I got gypped. Flynn De Marco

I've seen a lot commercials in my time, but a commercial for a commercial? OK, so The Wizard was a movie, but it's widely regarded as being a ninety minute commercial for Nintendo which, essentially, it was. Now I invite you to set your Way Back Machines to 1989 and enjoy the awesome Nintendo thrill ride that is The Wizard. Free Nintendo Pocket Power Magazine while supplies last... awesome!

"Will you be the first?"

They really knew how to entice kids to buy stuff back in the 80's. Tell them they will be the first to own something, throw in a cool robot, a light gun and Duck Hunt and you've got a license to print money! So, how many of you were sucked in by this one and went running to your parent's room at 6am on a Saturday morning begging for it? And how many of you actually got it? Flynn De Marco

This one is truly ancient and believe me, I should know. It's amazing to look back on these ads and remember a time when we thought those giant chunky things were the greatest thing ever. Not to mention how excited I remember being about Adventure on my brand new 2600. That square with an arrow for a sword was the most amazing thing we had ever seen, especially right in our own homes. I can only imagine what games will be like 25 years from now when we look back and say "Man those PS3 graphics sure were crap. How did we ever play that and think it was cool?" Flynn De Marco

None of the other Detective Conan games have been released outside of the US, but maybe this could change with the Wii game. Recently Destineer has been picking up anime licenses. They got Fullmetal Alchemist which Funimation holds the rights to and they might have picked up the rights for Samurai Deeper Kyo games. Since Funimation holds the rights for Case Closed in North America there is a remote chance Detective Conan: Tsuioku no Gensou could come out.

Pretty neat stuff. Personally, I wish that every game was made available to anyone in any language. Then I wouldn't have to track things down randomly on the web and enter the "you-know-what-kind" of pop-up window zone. Kim Phu

Watch Detective Conan Wii Commercial [Silconera]

I can't help it, I'm a little zombie crazy this weekend. Ok, well every weekend, but that's another story for another time. I actually saw this clip a few days ago and was surprised that no one here had posted it yet, so I shall take it upon myself to do it.

This Japanese ad (in English with subtitles) for Biohazard 4 on the Wii isn't exactly the best commercial ever made. It's definitely a high concept affair with bad acting, a terrible ending and an even worse wig. I won't tell you which of the actors is wearing the wig though, let's see if you can figure it out for yourself. Flynn De Marco

The first Zelda rap commercial has nothing on this one. This guy lays it all down with his phat beats and early 90's rhyming skillz making the skinny white nerds from the original look like Vanilla Ice.

Actually, I think that's being far too kind to Vanilla Ice. Flynn De Marco

Those two guys and their goofy little car are starting to grow on me. Brian Crecente

Am I the only one who expects this commercial to end with a single gunshot and a spout of blood and brains? Yeah, but I like it, a lot. I'm sick that way. No, actually I fucking love it! Brian Crecente

I love this commercial. When I saw it last night I immediately thought of Heavy Metal, it's very reminscent of the style of that fantastic 80s movie. Brian Crecente

Having grown up in the era of the Krofft Brothers and then having worked for The Mouse for a short period of my life, I have a certain fondness for anything involving giant character costumes. (Not in that weird "Furry" sort of way, but more in that nostalgic TV land sort of way.) So, needless to say I love this commercial for Super Smash Brothers on the Nintendo 64 featuring Mario, Yoshi, Donkey Kong and Pikachu. All is well as our four heroes hold hands, skipping through an impossibly cartoony, sunflower covered field to the tune of The Turtles' Happy Together. Then things get ugly...

I realized after watching this that the only thing better than watching people romping about in Nintendo character costumes is watching people in Nintendo character costumes beating the crap out of each other. Flynn De Marco

TV is so much better in my head.

This commercial is exactly why I decided against creating a series of intricate moving platforms that lead to my pantry. That and my general gaming laziness, which leads me to sit in front of the television munching on sugary snacks while playing...oh hey! I see what they did there. Gaming makes you fat! Michael Fahey

Subway video game commercial [YouTube - Thanks Jamie![

Here's a great Super Mario Kart commercial from 1992. The presentation is hilarious with it's quick cuts and Monster Truck Show style voiceover. "It's got two speeds! Fast and Way Too fast!"

This is a fine example of an ad that would make you run in to your parent's bedroom at 7am all cracked out on sugared cereal and beg them to buy that game for you. I tried that method just last weekend and you know what? It totally still works.

In the follow up to the equally perplexing previous This Is Living spot—a marketing campaign we can't imagine appealing to the bacon butties crowd—you'll find no straight answers. Just a series of non-sequiters spoken from creepy actors and the thankful inclusion of CONSOUL covergirl in bra and panties on the crapper. Oh, Sony marketing. I just don't get you sometimes! Michael McWhertor

This Japanese Super Metroid commercial doesn't have quite the same panache as last week's Metroid II clip, but it's still a pretty good one. The funny thing about this clip though is that while the voice overs are in Japanese, there is nary a Japanese person in the entire commercial. At first I thought perhaps this was filmed for North America and then re-purposed for Japan, but I was unable to find an English language version. I did however find the North American commercial for the same game that you can see after the jump. Flynn De Marco