Freshy pried from the game's homepage, here's the first trailer for Maxis' upcoming top-seller-for-five-years sure thing, The Sims 3. And yes, it looks better, and the promise of a whole town is certainly a pleasant one, but every time they start to lure me in with those kind of deals, I hear one of them open their mouth, and all bets are off.

Awesome IKEA Gameplay Footage

This hits close to home, because home is a shithole (that's what $1500 rents you in Silicon Valley) and I'll soon be paying IKEA plenty to make it look less so, because it's right around the corner in the East P.A. and I can't afford Ethan Allen. And if you want to trick out your Sims pad with BJARNUM or HENSVIK or DIKTAD or whatever fake words the Swedes come up with next, that expansion pack has now dropped (as of Thursday). This is the trailer showing all the shit you'll be throwing in your Sim dumpster in three years.

Clearly, there is very little probative value to this post, I just wanted to write the word DIKTAD (the name of a toy chest they sell). Three years ago my friend Ryan (Flying Squirrel, to those in the know), who now writes for the Sacramento Bee, went to IKEA with me to help me trick out my former shithole (rented for $1095 a month. Housing bubble? What is this you speak of? Rent is a rock solid investment that only appreciates.) We came around the corner and saw DIKTAD and that instantly became our new term of abuse for each other, like "Heat Stick" and "Grandma's Tongue." And now I bequeath it to you. Please call each other that in the comments.

The Sims 2 IKEA Home Stuff Trailer [Simprograms]

Goodness gracious me. Never would have thought the internet would go and make a pastime out of this, but now that it has, what else can we do but run with it? Because, as rubbish as the idea of a bunch of Sims re-enacting hip-hop and R&B videos sounds, it's really not. It's great. There's nine more at the link below, but be warned, a lot of them aren't exactly work/child-friendly.

The Ultimate Argument Settler: The 10 Best Fan Made Hip Hop Videos With Sims Of All Time [Videogum, via Boing-Boing]

SimsCarnival.com Enters Open Beta

EA's web-based game creation destination SimsCarnival.com has officially entered open beta, and not a moment too soon! The website allows players to use existing game templates to create new flash games or upload their own creations, and right now if you go there and click on Up and Coming you'll see a clear indicator of the quality we're dealing with right now with a version of the Kiss The Girl game using poorly upscaled pictures of Kingdom Hearts characters. Clearly we can do better.

To celebrate the beta launch, EA is launching the SimCarnival.com Galactic Game Challenge, with $1,000 cash prize on the line. Judging from the quality generated so far I'd say there's a good chance of anyone who reads Kotaku winning. Hell, there's a good chance my mother could win this.

25 Best Games for the Classroom

Sims Franchise To Explore, uh, Virtual Worlds?

The Sim 2 parade continues as EA readies not one but two new explorations into the lives of virtual people with The Sims 2 Apartment Life expansion and The Sims 2 Apartment Pets for the Nintendo DS. The PC version takes your Sim from their posh suburban homes and tosses them into apartment buildings, perhaps simulating America's horrific real estate market. You'll meet new archetypes like sports jocks, bohemians, and gadget-loving techies (raises hand) as you explore the drama of apartment living.

Meanwhile on the DS you'll find an apartment-based pet sim, complete with a snake charming mini-game that involves blowing into the DS microphone. Both games are due out in August around the globe.

As a guy who has lived in apartments for the majority of his life, I fail to see the charm here. Will my Sim be able to keep his pets secret from the apartment management? Can my interactions with my Sims neighbors be confined to peeking out the blinds to make sure they aren't breaking into my car again? Now that's apartment living right there.

20-year-old Memories of a Life Not Lived

The Sims Is Not A Casual Game, Buster

I don't think of it as casual. We were one of the first games that started to attract a broad audience. We were one of the first games that bought in women... To some degree The Sims is more of a toy than a game. People want to create characters, tell stories and explore relationships in a way that is maybe different from their real lives.

The Sims & IKEA Are An Exercise In Tasteful Product Placement

Indulge your Sims with an office that is sure to promote order and productivity with its elegant Vika Hyttan desk, inspiring Kila desk lamp, bold Helmer drawer unit, and Lack zigzag wallshelf.

EA's Rod Humble on The Sims, Death and Potty Humor

Rock, Paper, Shotgun has posted a two part interview with EA's Rod Humble on The Sims, among other things — the first half of the interview covers a lot of (non-Sims related) gaming territory, while the second focuses on the Sims. On designing the death bits:

We have a lot of fun with it, so every expansion pack we come to the point where we're adding in some new death states. I remember in Seasons they were putting in the death state of being snowed to death. The person is in a snowstorm, and you see them trying to fight it and fight it, until the fighting slows down [laughs] and he just rolls over and gives up. It shouldn't be funny. But oh my goodness, it is. It's always about mean things happening in an amusing way. There's also a lot of potty humour in it, and we fully embrace that. I think that's a wonderful traditional mode of humour, and I still find it funny watching Sims pee themselves. I make no apologies for it. I think that's a classic genre and endlessly entertaining. [laughs] It makes chuckle just thinking about it!

It's a fun little two part interview, even if you're not a big Sims fan.

Dinner With Rod Humble: Sims Style Stuff [Rock, Paper, Shotgun]

EA Kills EA Land, The Sims Online

Just two months ago, EA Land was announced to be the new home of struggling MMO The Sims Online. The good part of that news was that TSO would now be free, hosted at EA Land and was promised to have a host of new features, including user created custom content, web services and social networking tools.

Today, the EA Land blog revealed that it would be shutting down on August 1, ending The Sims Online forever.

The whys weren't given, but speculation from commenters and CNet is that EA wanted to kill The Sims Online without having to kill "The Sims Online." The closure of EA Land—who again?—is far more palatable, brand-wise. Details on outstanding subscriptions can be found at the official EA Land blog.

EA-Land Drawing To A Close [EA Land]
'EA Land' closing just weeks after debut [CNet - thanks DaveKap!]

Amazing Core Gamer Stuff Pooh-Poohed By Focus Groups

The concept was simple: A virtual dollhouse. Will Wright was coming off of SimAnt, and he was looking to do more. Wright at his team at Maxis began working on what would become The Sims, a game that play-tested so poorly that there were doubts it would be released. The game was and of course went on to spawn two sequels and countless expansions, creating a hundred million selling franchise in the process. It's must be very satisfying to be part of The Sims casual gaming juggernaut! Some people play The Sims and only The Sims. While the game's studio head Rod Humble says the best thing about working on The Sims is the "total freedom," he does offer us insight:

The Sims: 100 Million Served

While the majority of the big revelations about The Sims 3 have already been taken care of, today's website update does include some new screenshots, as well as a look at the new personality trait system. Once you create a Sim's physical appearance, you can combine five personality traits together to define how they behave. Want an unlucky, slobbish, easily-bored yet friendly mooch, or a hot-headed, rude, childish and excitable jerk? The ability to fine tune your Sim's personality should make for some very interesting torture sessions gameplay indeed. Hit the jump for a press release full of Sims 3 goodness!

First Sims 3 Details: No More Pee-Meter

The biggest change to The Sims 3 is that it takes place in a wide-open, constantly changing neighborhood — a much bigger sandbox, if you will, and a much more complex simulation. The town and park you see on the cover image to the right (click to enlarge) exist in the same seamless space as your Sims' household, and what you do outside your home now matters as much as what you do within.

The Sims 3 Gets Teased

Sure, we've known that The Sims 3 was coming as early as November of 2006, when EA essentially semi-announced the thing in an earnings report. We also know that EA is planning The Sims 4 and a gross of expansion packs over the next decade, but that's just based on common sense.

Looks like we may get our first real look at chapter three in the amazing Sims saga as early as March 19, just two weeks from today. That's according to EA's teaser site, which provides all the information you've seen in this very post, but it appears that Sim jewel icon rendering is going to be just stunning!

The Sims 3 Coming Soon! [EA]