American McGee, long known for his "edgy" video game takes on delightful children's books, has recently announced his Q2 2007 title, American McGee's Hansel and Gretel.

"With American McGee's Alice, American McGee tried to put American McGee's dark and bloody take on Lewis Carroll's American McGee's Alice In Wonderland books," American McGee announced at a recent press conference. "American McGee is going to similarly turn the iconic myth of Hansel and Gretel on its head. American McGee's Hansel and Gretel is going to skull fuck all y'all."

According to McGee, Hansel and Gretel will take place in an impressionistic, rainbow-ribboned Bavaria. After Hansel and Gretel's loving parents send them out into the woods with a hundred hugs and kisses each, they make their way through a mysterious wood populated by magical fairies, talking frogs and singing trees. When they eventually stumble upon a Gingerbread house, they meet a nice and pleasant grandmatronly figure, who feeds them candy canes and sugar snaps until their bellies are full, then sends them home with baskets full of candy to be tucked into bed and sung lullabys by their adoring parents.

Regally gesturing out the window of the ebony tower in which his company is located, American McGee pointed to the apocalyptic feeding frenzy that had consumed Dallas and explained: " When American McGee made American McGee's Alice, American McGee could fuck your minds right up by slanting a doorway a few degrees to the right and splatting some blood on it. American McGee says that happiness is the new goth. Blood, gore and cannibalism don't have the same effect anymore. American McGee's Hansel and Gretel is going to be full of hugs, rainbows and cookie dough."

Stealing a phrase from another id-alum-turned-Romanian-mail-order-child-bride-cannibal, American McGee concluded: "American McGee is going to make you American McGee's bitch."